Que Sarah, Sarah

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

WORDS OF WISDOM

Words of Wisdom

"TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION"

Last night I threw back a couple drinks with some friends at Makai in Santa Monica. After that couple, we headed to Kings Head for a couple more. Befriending the bartender meant one or five too many soco and lime shots and an accompanying friendly (read: drunk) demeanor. A short, stocky guy across the bar bought me a drink I didnt need and came over to talk. I was drunk, so humoring him by speaking when it was my turn was tolerable for awhile. I cant remember his name or much of anything we talked about, except I believe he said he was in the military and in town on vacation. When the time came to leave, the short stocky guy asked for my email, saying he liked to have penpal-type friends to write to from overseas.

"IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL"

Truth is, I WANTED to say "Thus far, youve said nothing in particular of merit. You're not witty, intelligent or interesting. In fact, you're kind of creepy and youre 55. If I were to fill out a profile describing my perfect man, I would never check the body type box that reads fire hydrant." Corresponding with you via email sounds like a huge waste of time and not at all appealing. Truth is, I SHOULD have said Thanks for protecting our homeland, thanks for defending my freedom, thanks for buying me a drink. It was nice meeting you, Im sorry but I dont give out my email to strangers.

"EASIER SAID THAN DONE"

I was drunk. This is a good excuse for most things. So I gave it to him, thinking Whats the harm in giving this poor guy my email? I never have to write him back and this way I wont have to deal with any awkward/angry rejection response or engage in a lengthy conversation consisting mostly of why nots? and becauses. I felt I was doing a good deed. I went home and snoozed my way directly to a nasty hangover.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED"

This afternoon at work I opened my hotmail to find an email that appeared to be junk. Then I noticed another from the same sender, with the same subject line: Do you know my husband? I was curious. This is what it read

Hello Spain2323
I am hoping that you will help me out. I found your email address in my husbands wallet this morning. He has been known to cheat and I supect him of doing it again. Will you email me to let me know who you are? I need to know if he is trying to pick up women. Your email address was wriiten down Tuesday night May 30th in Santa Monica. He did not come in until 4 o'clock that morning. Please I need your help. Thanks

"MEN ARE DOGS"

© 2006 Sarah Spain

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