Que Sarah, Sarah

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Top Ten Sports-Related Halloween Costumes for 2008

By Sarah Spain
Originally published 10/17/08 on MouthpieceSports.com

Halloween is fast approaching and people everywhere are scouring the web for this year’s hottest costumes. Ladies, you don’t want to show up at the party only to find you’re one of many dressed as “Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin.” And fellas, you’re not gonna be the only “Joker in a nurse’s costume” at the club, so don’t run the risk of that pretty bird you’ve been working all night accidentally leaving with that other guy in face paint and a red wig.

Here’s an idea! Why not combine your passion for sports with your passion for alcohol-infused, obesity-promoting holidays? Below: 10 sports-related Halloween costumes that are sure to amuse, entice and/or offend.

10. Tim Donaghy: In July, the former NBA ref was sentenced to 15 months in jail for gambling on games he officiated.
Costume Requirements: For all you lazy fans out there, this costume is quite simple. A ref’s outfit, a wad of cash and some handcuffs. If you wanna get creative, tape a “Parking in rear” or “Exit Only” sign to the seat of your pants and carry some soap on a rope.

9. Madonna & A-Rod: Perfect for couples! Now that both superstars have split with their spouses, the most in-shape twosome since Hans and Franz are free to be together forever—or at least until next season starts.
Costume Requirements: HIS: The Yankees are out of the playoffs for the first time in 13 years, so an A-Rod jersey and a Yankees ballcap can be bought on the cheap. Not so cheap? That hundred dollar bill you’ll have to carry around and use as a napkin. HERS: On her Sticky & Sweet tour, Madonna has been seen rocking knee-high boots, fishnet stockings, a pleather leotard and a top hat. All should be easy to find at your local S & M store. (Bonus: Add some boxing gloves and you’ve got your Oscar De La Hoya costume ready a year early!) .

8. Michael Phelps: Guys, are you dying to show off those chiseled abs one last time before winter sets in? Here’s your chance.
Costume Requirements: A speedo, goggles, eight gold medals, aggressive manscaping.

7. David Tyree: Everyone remembers the unbelievable catch Giants’ wide receiver David Tyree made in Super Bowl XLII.
Costume Requirements: A New York Giants uniform, a Super Bowl ring and a football to glue to your helmet. Don’t glue the football to your hand, though—you might need that hand to double-fist.

6. Misty May-Treanor: Just months after winning her second straight Olympic gold with beach volleyball partner Kerri Walsh, May-Treanor tore her Achilles tendon rehearsing for Dancing With The Stars.
Costume Requirements: A sparkly gown, high heels, tranny-licious makeup, a cast and crutches. Carry around a volleyball and recruit friends to be your partner, Maksim, and judges Carrie Ann, Bruno and Len.

5. 2008 Barry Bonds: The King of the Swing hasn’t taken one since the end of last season, despite filing for free agency in October of 2007. Let people know what Bonds is up to now that his baseball career appears to be over…
Costume Requirements: A San Francisco Giants uniform, an impossibly large head, a McDonald’s visor and a drive-thru headset.

4. Pacman Jones: Gather your hos together to celebrate everyone’s favorite strip club-frequenting, gun-toting, suspension-lovin’ NFL cornerback!
Costume Requirements: A life-sized Pacman costume (true to the original video game), a bottle of Cristal and a wad of singles. Recruit all your “lady friends” to be strippers that escort you around the party, occasionally pausing to pick up your scrilla after you make it rain.

3. Manny Ramirez: The newest LA Dodger did it all for the blue in the 2008 playoffs. In eight games he batted .520, walked 11 times, hit four homers and drove in 10 runs.
Costume Requirements: A Dodgers jersey, a head full of dreads, a cane and a back-brace (from carrying the rest of the Dodgers on your back).

2. Chinese Gymnast: Ladies, this is a great way to have an of-the-moment costume, but also, as is the Halloween tradition, wear little to no clothing.
Costume Requirements: Red leotard, a red scrunchie and barrettes for your hair. Blue eyeshadow, chalky hands, underdeveloped breasts and baby teeth. Don’t forget to proudly display your fake passport and be sure to eschew the traditional water bottle for a baby bottle.

1. Epic Fail: Any Chicago Cubs player.
Costume Requirements: A Cubs uniform, something to choke on and a box of Kleenex for your fans.


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